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IGES: Matchmaking Workshop on Joint Crediting Mechanism (JCM) in Bangladesh
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The Ghotoks facilitate the couple’s introduction to the wedding guests, and are given special gifts called Ghotokbidae lit. Families traditionally seek their children’s matches from the same caste, religion and social standing. In the case of an arranged marriage, if the aforementioned ‘compatibility’ factors are duly matched, only then is the pairing deemed a raj-jotak an ideal match.
Nowadays as arranged marriages are not mandatory , couples often choose their life partners themselves after a period of courtship and understanding each other well, while still giving some consideration to the traditional ‘compatibility’ factors, however not strictly conforming to conventional notions of both partners being an “ideal match. Once the arrangement is done, the planning of the wedding itself is done by parents. They usually start the planning the wedding venue many months ahead.
The bride usually participates actively in shopping for her bridal attire and gifts. Paka-dekha or Patri-Patro dekha[ edit ] Although nowadays the couple find each other according to their own choices, the official engagement must follow from formal consent given by the family elders from both sides. Through a ceremony called ‘paka-dekha’ in case of Ghotis or patri-patro, usually observed by Bangals, the alliance is formalized so final wedding preparations can proceed in due course with confidence that it is indeed intentional and assured to take place.
Paka-dekha is celebrated on a day when both families convene at either side’s home to fix the final date and time of day the lagno of the marriage, and entertain any demands made by the groom’s family in order to ensure that the bride’s future is well assured.
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